Posted on November 23, 2008 by


I’ve got a new theory on being offended. Maybe it’s really not so much about being upset as it is about finding an excuse to not have to put effort into a relationship.

Being a friend, or even a church acquaintance, takes a certain amount of time commitment to maintain the relationship. Sometimes we find that maintaining a particular relationship is not convenient. We can avoid and ignore a relationship for only so long before it becomes awkward. At that point we can acknowledge that we failed in the relationship. But that’s personally demoralizing.

On the other hand, becoming offended offers an easy, socially acceptable out with a superficial moral high ground. If we can find something the other person said to become offended over, then we can shift the blame for the failure of the relationship to the other person. Then we’re relieved, in our minds, of any responsibility toward that relationship.